I guess I'm going through my usual pre-Christmas Blues, only they seem to be more severe this year. Maybe because there has been so much happening in our family this year. Anyway, it's times like this where I miss my son even more. I know he's been gone for 14 years but the pain remains forever. I go into a state of imagining what might have been.... Would he have had children? I can only imagine. What kind of relationship would he have with his nieces & nephews. I can only imagine. Would he go out hunting with Allan? Would he still love to schnuffle his nose in the girls hair? (He used to do that to little girls.) I know he would adore Andrew. I feel like they got robbed. They never had a chance to meet their uncle. I hurt for Shelley. He was her only brother. I think about all the families who have been bereaved this year. All the families of soldiers killed in the wars. I hurt for my great nieces. Their mother passed away in November. My very close girlfriend who lost her husband this year. The list goes on and on.....I need to focus more on the real meaning of Christmas. It's only because of the birth of Jesus that all this sadness will one day end. I also know this dark cloud will pass and maybe tomorrow I will see the sun again. I WILL enjoy Christmas with my family!
5 comments:
There is really nothing no one can say, is there? I have never lost a child so there is no way I can feel your pain....all I know is I loved Jeff too...not the way you did, but as much as an auntie could...I often wonder too,what he would be like...sometimes Jean-Guy reminds me of him, so much....cannot imagine losing him or the girls....unbearable...so you are allowed to grieve and be sad for your boy...he is missed by all of us....love you....L
I CANNOT even imagine the pain that you and Uncle Ben must feel. I believe you when you say it never goes away. I will pray that God gives you peace over the holidays and try to find comfort in the fact that one day you will meet again.
B
imagining...it's easy to slip into that state, i agree, and i think it's ok too! part of the journey, i suppose.
i'll believe with you, you WILL enjoy Christmas with your family!!
thinking of you
praying for you
oxox
esther
oh mom, I wonder about the what ifs too. Allan would of loved spending time with him hunting, and flying. Anna would of grabbed his heart, and I know his nose would of been in her hair. Samantha would of just loved his fun spirit, like herself. And Andrew would of stolen all the love that was left in him. It's Christmas eve, and I wish there was a gift under the tree for him. So glad this life is only a fraction of what there is to come. we will have a good Christmas! Thank you Jesus for coming to this wicked world. Love you mom.
I am so sorry for your loss, and of course, how could the pain ever completely diminish...impossible.
I have not lost a child, but did lose my father as a teenager, his life cut short by a very rare neurological disorder...he was 45-years old. I think of him every day.
I can only hope, that with time, life might become a bit easier for you.
I found your site through my dear friend, Charles/ceeque.
Holidays can be so depressing, yes.
Blessings to you, and your family.
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